After working with students online for the past 6 months, I’m noticing a theme:
Some students are truly allowing music to support them during this difficult time.
And most are not.
Some are letting music speak to them, letting it inspire them, letting it soothe them.
And some are grinding harder than ever and then feeling guilty when it’s “not enough”.
The difference between the two groups is starting to become more and more noticeable. The first group is participating and eager, and the second group is tired, burnout, overwhelmed and intimidated by musical opportunities.
Here’s the honest truth of where I’m at in my musical relationship with myself:
Even though I am a songwriter, I have not written 1 word or 1 note since the pandemic began. I have not “practiced” hard at any song, have had no focused project or goal, and certainly have not been in a regular routine around my music.
Instead, I’ve gone back to some parts of my musical self that have not been prevalent for a long time. I found myself opening up old Chopin pieces that I adored playing as a younger student. I even cracked open the Fantasie Impromptu which I’ve only ever “dabbled” with but haven’t truly dedicated myself to learning.
Certain aspects of music are showing up for me right now, and others are feeling like a drudge.
Here’s what I’ve concluded:
Right now is the time for Music to give back to me.
I’ve “given myself” to music since I was 6 years old. While it has been a total gift in my life, I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t been difficult and incredibly frustrating at times. Being a professional musician, or even just a very serious musician, is not always glamorous. In fact, it’s mostly not glamorous at all but rather looks a lot more like a one-sided relationship…Lots of giving often without much reward.
I’ve decided that right now, I’m going to let music give back to me. I’m going to play what feels good. I’m going to just mess around and play songs up to the point where they feel too hard and then I’m going to move on. I’m going to explore lots of different things and possibly not choose anything in particular to focus on. And I’m certainly not going to write until I know what the hell I want to say.
I’m not saying don’t work hard, I’m saying find the aspect of music that makes you want to work for it. Not the one that feels like a chore.
To all you beautiful musicians out there, I hope that you will allow music to finally give back after all your hard work. Let it heal you, let it soothe you, let it whisper sweet nothings in your ear. Let it guide you, let it inspire you, and please take the pressure off of yourself right now. Trust me, when this is all over, we will have more to say as songwriters, and there will be plenty of difficult pieces to tackle, but for now, please let music give to you. After all, we are lucky that we have this beautiful art form to engage with anytime we feel stressed, overwhelmed, sad, angry, or are experiencing any of the many ranging emotions that can feel so intense right now.
We’ve spent our lifetime working hard so that we can have a relationship like this. Now is the time to receive.
